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542 publication date:DEC, 2022
Transwomen’s Experiences of Coming Out to Their Parents
    Author:Yu-Hsien Sung, Szu-Fan Chen
Research Article

The word transgender is an umbrella term typically used to describe individuals who possess a gender identity different from their gender assigned at birth or who experience their gender outside the limits of the gender binary. Transgender individuals include transmen, transwomen, intersex people, and crossdressers. The term transgender is also used to refer to those individuals who are taking or have taken hormonal therapy or sex reassignment surgery. Individuals who undergo such interventions do so with the goal of transforming themselves to the opposite gender. Transgender people struggle to gain support and recognition from others. Receiving the support of friends, mental health professionals, and especially family members is often extremely important to transgender people. According to the ecological systems theory developed by Bronfenbrenner in 1994, family is an important microsystem in terms of an individual’s development. The relationship and interaction between an individual and their parents have a profound impact on the development of an individual’s self-identity and social network. Disclosing one’s gender identity and coming out to one’s parents is typically a milestone for transgender people in terms of shaping their self-identity and developing their connection with society. Transgender people view parental recognition as a rich asset and support that can help them cope with challenges and setbacks during their sexual transformation process. However, parents usually struggle with the identity and sexual transformation of offspring. Transgender people also feel worried and stressed about coming out to their parents. Notably, family rejection can harm a transgender person’s well-being. Thus, this


study describes the experiences transgender women have when coming out to their parents. The assistance provided by professionals to transgender people in developing their gender identity and thereby facilitating their adaptation to society is an important issue warranting more attention. Professionals in Taiwan, such as counselors and school counselors, generally have a limited understanding of transgender people and may encounter difficulties in counseling them. Therefore, the results of this study will be useful as a reference for professionals who deal with transwomen to increase their knowledge and help them overcome challenges when working with transwomen.


The present study recruited participants by using both the purposive and snowball sampling methods. A total of 16 transwomen were invited to participate in individual interviews. The mean age of participants was 28.94 years, ranging from 23 to 45 years; six participants were from northern Taiwan, six were from central Taiwan, and four were from southern Taiwan.


The participants were at varying stages of gender transition, and some had already come out to their parents. Each interview lasted 120–150 minutes. Interview topics covered the process and experience of transwomen coming out to their parents, possible challenges and coping strategies adopted in this process, and factors promoting coming out. The grounded theory was adopted for data analysis. The analysis technique included immersive reading, open coding, axial coding, selective coding, and theoretical sampling.


The results revealed that the meanings of coming out included facing the problem and thereby revealing their real self, challenging themselves and adapting to society, and obtaining family recognition for self-fulfillment, which was a motivating factor in coming out to parents. Moreover, the details of transwomen’s coming out processes were clarified. The process consists of five stages: hesitation, trial and error, disclosure, relationship turmoil, and acceptance. The features of each stage are described below. In the first stage (hesitation), although they need and are motivated to come out to their parents, transwomen worry about their uncertain future and unpredictable parental responses to their disclosure; therefore, they hesitate to come out.


At the same time, the significance of coming out and support from relatives, friends, and professional resources can act as a driving force that encourages transwomen to overcome their hesitation. In the second stage (trial and error), external support and the reasonings for coming out are motives pushing transwomen to progressively express their identities to their parents through behavioral changes such as outfit changes and makeup, so as to observe parental attitudes and possible responses to their gender identity and self-exhibition. In the third stage (disclosure), along with positive responses to self-exhibition, the emergence of reasons for coming out, and detailed plans about coming out, transwomen try to formally disclose their gender identity to their parents. Most transwomen come out to their parents via emotional appeals or with external support (e.g., relatives, siblings, and medical or mental health professionals). They argue that presenting a firm belief in their gender identity is important in terms of disclosure to parents. However, coming out is sometimes unpredictable; for instance, parents might know or suspect their transgender child’s gender identity before it is formally disclosed, thereby forcing the transwoman to come out. In the fourth stage (relationship turmoil), the disclosure of gender identity challenges parental values, beliefs, and social norms regarding gender. They may transfer their worries onto their transgender child, creating turmoil and conflict. For example, parents may worry about the unknown challenges their transgender child may encounter in the future; they may have a sense of loss with respect to their child’s career; or they may worry about the potential side effects of treatments such as sex reassignment surgery and hormone therapy. Furthermore, parental misunderstanding and stigma toward the transgender community may affect their attitude toward their transgender child.


Some strategies that were adopted by the transwomen to cope with turmoil and conflict included communicating with their parents, calmly preparing themselves, and seeking external help. Conflicts between transwomen and their parents may be reduced by these coping strategies; however, parents can still struggle with a transwoman’s identity if it contradicts their values,


beliefs, or religion. As a result, parents may move back and forth during the process between denial and acceptance, which is the fifth stage of the process. Despite this, continuously communicating and clarifying, expressing determination through action, and receiving support from relevant resources can still help transwomen reach a balance with their parents in their interactions, thereby encouraging acceptance from their parents.


To summarize, the results of the present study are useful in terms of deepening the understanding of transwomen’s experiences disclosing their gender identity to their parents; moreover, the results can be useful references for mental health professionals to refine their services and provide more effective assistance for transgender clients. In this regard, the present study also suggests that to effectively assist transgender clients, the in-service institutes for professional helpers should offer more professional education and training on gender diversity. Moreover, mental health professionals should strengthen their knowledge and abilities related to working with transgender people and even place more importance on their professional roles in helping transgender people who are in the process of coming out to their parents. In addition, mental health professional could assist transgender clients by clarifying the meaning of coming out, identifying the factors that influence coming out successfully, and creating supportive environments and resource connections. In doing so, transgender clients could be more capable of addressing challenges involved with coming out to their parents. Lastly, the present research also recommends that future studies investigate other issues faced by transgender people, thereby clarifying possible misunderstandings toward them and reducing the stigmas and discrimination that exist in society. This may engender greater respect and tolerance toward transgender people and other sexual minorities in Taiwanese society.


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關鍵詞: coping strategies, difficulties in coming out, gender identity, process of coming out, transwomen


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