Intimate partnership violence or murder cases have never been rare in our society. Intimate relationship conflict is a crucial
issue across the lifespan, even as early as early adulthood. According to Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development, early
adulthood, including the college stage, is an essential period for individuals to learn how to establish loving relationships
with others (Meacham & Santilli, 1982). Developing a healthy conflict-coping strategy while interacting with a partner can
contribute to better mental well-being and intimate relationships (Kansky & Allen, 2018). The adoption of various conflict
coping strategies is associated with the conflict experience in one’s family of origin, motives for romantic relationships,
attachment styles, and romantic passion (David et al., 2019; Huang, 2010; Paquette et al., 2020; Reese-Weber & Marchand,
2002). Additionally, Chang and Luo (2007) reported managing conflict as a significant factor in the satisfaction of romantic
relationships. More positive, integrated, or empathetic conflict coping strategies lead to higher relationship satisfaction and
longer romantic relationships. More negative, aggressive, or withdrawal conflict coping strategies lead to a lack of security and
stability and even lower relationship satisfaction (Burk & Seiffge-Krenke, 2015; Johnson et al., 2018; Perrone-McGovern et al.,
2014; Shulman et al., 2006).
Given the critical period of the college stage in the development of intimacy and the vital impact of conflict coping
strategies, it is worth focusing on college students´ thoughts and experiences in romantic relationships simultaneously while
encountering conflicts, especially bidirectional influence between partners. This study aimed to explore the impact of college
students’ own and their partners’ conflict coping strategies on their perceived relationship satisfaction. The study adopted a
two-phase mixed-method research design. Study 1 aimed to examine the impact of conflict coping strategies on relationship
satisfaction among college students in romantic relationships from a dyadic perspective. It involved quantitative research, where
data were collected from 67 dyads of college students in stable romantic relationships. The “Individual Conflict Coping Strategy
Scale” and the “Relationship Satisfaction Scale” were used to collect quantitative data. Hierarchical linear modeling (HLM) was
used to conduct the actor-partner interdependence model (APIM). The results of study 1 are as follows:
First, positive actor and partner effects of conflict coping strategies were found on participants’ relationship satisfaction
when the male or female partners used an “integrating” conflict coping strategy and the female partners used an “obliging”
conflict coping strategy. Second, negative actor and partner effects of conflict coping strategies were found on participants’
relationship satisfaction when the female partners used a “dominating” conflict coping strategy.
Based on the findings from study 1, study 2 involved qualitative research. It further invited two dyads of participants with
high relationship satisfaction to explore their bidirectional experience in conflict coping strategies and relationship satisfaction through semi-structured and in-depth interviews. In one dyad, both partners used an “integrating” coping strategy; In the other
dyad, the male partner used an “integrating” coping strategy while the female partner used an “obliging” strategy. A holisticcontent
analysis was utilized to analyze participants’ qualitative narrative data. The results of study 2 are as follows:
First, an obliging attitude and immediate conflict communication contributed to positive communications between couples.
According to the results of study 1, when the male or female partners used an “integrating” conflict coping strategy and the
female partners used an “obliging” conflict coping strategy, there was no significant influence on the partner’s relationship
satisfaction. However, different from study 1, study 2 further found the mutual influence of conflict and multiple meanings for
people who used an “integrating” conflict coping strategy and an “obliging” conflict coping strategy. When confronting conflicts,
two dyads of participants intended to avoid their strong emotions and negative words to demonstrate an obliging attitude. They
avoid direct arguments to maintain trust and harmony in their romantic relationships. Viewed from two dimensions, focusing
on one’s own needs and focusing on others’ needs, people who use an “obliging” strategy tend to pay attention to others’ needs
and ignore their own needs to satisfy others (Rahim, 1983). Huang (2010) indicated that tolerance is a negative way of coping
with conflicts between partners. The more partners adopt tolerant behavior, the lower their relationship satisfaction becomes.
However, tolerant or obliging behavior aligns with the value of emphasizing harmony in relationships within Chinese culture,
reflecting the characteristic of humility in Chinese society (Chan, 2013; Li & Hsiao, 2008). As one of the participants, Brian,
mentioned that he was influenced by the belief of his family of origin, which is to “not make enemies with others.” Individuals
may avoid intense conflicts when facing relationship conflicts. This approach not only alleviates negative emotions on both
sides but also creates a chance for the couple to assess their importance to the other person. This suggests that individuals may
attempt to suppress their internal emotions to demonstrate tolerance and possibly to reduce direct conflict. This behavior can
enhance individuals’ relationship satisfaction (Tsai & Liu, 2024), highlighting the unique significance of obliging actions within
Chinese culture.
Second, although conflict coping was influenced by experience, the positive attitude of one partner could encourage the
other partner’s constructive response. In two dyads of participants with high relationship satisfaction in this study, it is evident
that all four participants possessed empathetic and kind personality traits. During their intimate conflicts, they were willing to
consider their partner’s perspective and to try to understand their deeper feelings. They resolved their conflicts through rational
and positive approaches. A partner’s personality traits significantly influence their choice of conflict coping strategies (Igbo et
al., 2015). Additionally, individuals who view conflicts as opportunities to enhance the relationship are more likely to adopt
constructive conflict resolution strategies, leading to higher relationship satisfaction (Hsiao et al., 2018; Rodrigues et al., 2019).
In this study, the participants viewed conflict experiences from a positive perspective and possessed self-compassion traits that
allowed them to treat themselves kindly. This enabled them to use functional coping styles, such as problem-solving, leading to
higher relationship satisfaction (Tandler et al., 2021). The participants were also gradually influenced by their partners’ positive
attitudes, which led them to adopt constructive coping behaviors during conflicts, such as proactively expressing their thoughts,
reflecting on their behaviors, and understanding their partner’s perspective.
Third, individual conflict coping strategy was influenced by experiences in romantic relationships that demonstrated mutual
and dynamic changes. Attachment styles also influence how individuals cope with intimate conflicts (Paquette et al., 2020;
Simpson, 1990). For instance, in this study, Betty, influenced by past experiences, lacked a sense of security in her intimate
relationship and tended to use destructive behaviors like avoiding communication or responding passively to express her needs
indirectly (Paquette et al., 2020), leading to Brian’s feelings of confusion. However, Brian was able to understand the insecurity
underlying Betty’s emotions deeply and responded with acceptance and tolerance, which gradually transforms their interaction
patterns. As noted by Sasaki (2023), partners who feel loved in an intimate relationship (like Brian) experience fewer negative
emotions related to feeling ignored during conflicts, and this also helps to reduce the partner’s (Betty’s) passive behaviors.
In summary, this study selected couples with high relationship satisfaction who used either an “integrating” coping strategy
or an “obliging” strategy based on quantitative results. It further explored participants’ experiences and the nuances of conflict
coping, revealing the bidirectional influence and transformation in their conflict processes within intimate relationships. This
study addresses the limitations of previous quantitative research, which often focused on a single perspective of conflict coping
styles and associations with relationship satisfaction. Additionally, the study suggests that it may be challenging to assess
conflict coping with a single scale because of the dynamic nature of the interaction experiences between romantic partners.Finally, recommendations for future research and implications for counseling practice were made based on the findings in
the studies.
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The Distance between Us: A Dyadic Analysis of Conflict Coping Strategies and Relationship Satisfaction among College Students in Romantic Relationships
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